like fuck.

I don’t know how else to honey my words, to please you and put things back where they used to be. Now that I’ve completely lost the trust in you, things are far from normal. So, I sat down to think and think and think again.. where did I go wrong? And then I realised, you found out the truth through the modern technology called cellphone. Okay, I am all to blame but what gave you the right to invade my privacy?

To leave my friends whom I’ve mingled together for years is the same thing as asking me to die. Smoking kills and to have a single stick of cig with me is already a sin. It’s not like how things were like in the past. Things have changed since the start of school semester. See, I hate it when people read the whole content of my inbox. My history, my past.. I’ve got no space to breathe already. I really really wanna sit with you, talk things out but the courage in me is not standing tall.

Now, I have to prove you that I am not as what you think. But why do you have to do this to me? Dear M, I am truly sorry. I am already beginning to change but if you ask me to leave my friends, I cant do that for you. They may be dirty, cheap, anything – name it. But what matters is, they are always there for me.

And of course. I promise myself not to have a boyfriend until i officially graduate from school. I don’t want to be like my sister, i don't want history to repeat itself and of course, Izan sucks. Oh and the main reason is because, my neighbours are a bunch of mother fucking asshole bitches. Nak kaypo tak tentu pasal. Anak sendiri taknak jaga, hal rumah tangga orang nak masuk campur. Are you happy now that my mother is so sick and ALL OF US ARE NOT LIKE HOW WE USED TO BE? Cibai sia. What the fuck.